簡短的英語笑話或演講稿

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!我好幸福啊！我和女朋友處對象已經壹年多了，我們就要結婚了呀！我的父母竭盡全力想方設法幫助我們，我的朋友們也鼓勵我支持我，要說起我的女朋友啊？！她簡直是我夢寐以求眾裏尋她千百度萬裏挑壹的！ There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.It had to be deliberate.She never did it when she was near anyone else.美中不足，就是總有壹件小事兒讓我傷透了腦筋，真的是頭痛啊，這個小小的麻煩就是我女朋友的妹妹。我未來的小姨子小肥皂年方20。穿戴性感，謹慎迷妳裙加上低胸上衣。她總是在離我很近的時候彎下腰，我也因此頗有機會對她的內衣秀大飽眼福。 她的所作所為絕對是存心故意。因為有他人在場的時候她從來不那麽對我賣弄風情。 One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.有壹天，小姨子打來電話讓我去她家裏檢查壹下婚禮慶典的準備工作。我到的時候她獨自在家。她把嘴湊到我的耳邊對我說，“妳馬上就要結婚了，我喜歡妳，我克制不了對妳的感情，我也不想克制......我有個小小的請求。在妳結婚之前，在妳將妳的壹生都托付給我的姐姐之前，我想和妳，未來的姐夫做愛，就這壹次，好嗎？”我呆若木雞無言以對。She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.”I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.她說：“我到樓上我的臥室等妳。要是妳願意，就上來找我吧。”我暈( ⊙ o ⊙ )啊！我就傻楞著站在那裏眼睜睜地瞪著她上了樓梯，我驚慌失措全身冰涼。她終於走到樓上，很麻利地自己動手脫下褲子，壹把甩給了樓下的我。I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house.I walked straight towards my car.My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”我站在樓下楞了壹會兒，然後轉身徑直走向前門。我打開門走出了她的家。我徑直走向我的車。我未來的嶽父大人正站在房外等候多時了。他熱淚盈眶緊緊將我擁抱，“我們非常高興妳已經通過了我們對妳的壹個小小的考驗。上哪裏也找不到比妳更好的乘龍快婿呀！歡迎妳加入我們的家庭！”