經典對話壹：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以為妳買壹杯飲料嗎？）
女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我寧願留下那些錢。)
經典對話二：
男：Can I have your name?（直譯：我能有妳的名字嗎？）
女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （為什麽？妳不是已經有壹個了嗎？）
經典對話三：
男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我壹直在尋找壹張像妳這樣的臉。）
女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也壹直在尋找壹張像妳這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果妳坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五：
男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什麽地方見過妳？）
女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什麽我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（這個星期六妳想跟我出去嗎？）
女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
這組對話只有看到最後才好玩，有趣。
A:I want some envelopes,please.
B:Do you want the large size or the small size?
A:The large size,please.
Do you have any writing paper?
B:Yes,we do.
I don't have any small pads.
I only have large ones.
Do you want a pad？
A:Yes,please.
And I want some glue.
B:A bottle of glue.
A:And I want a large box of chalk,too.
B:I only have small boxes.
Do want one?
A:No,thank you.
B:Is that all?
A:That's all,thank you.
B:What else do you want?
A:I want my change.
壹簡單搞笑的英語兩人情景對話
A:Hello, I'm Ben. May I ask you some questions?
B:Sure.
A:What is your father's name?
B:Happy!
A:Then, What is your mother's name?
B:Smile!
A:Are you joking?
B:No! That's my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census
staff?
A:Of course not.
B:Go ahead.
A:OK. Your name is Kidding!
壹段對話
Napolan and his soldiers（拿破侖這個單詞我記不清楚了） 眾士兵排列整齊的上。
M: Attention.（立正） Turn right/left. Quick time, march!（齊步走） (吹哨)
Halt!(立定) Turn right/left. At ease!(稍息).Dismiss!(解散)
M: Hello!Everyone! This is Sam. He is Swede. Today he join us. Let's give
him a warm welcome!
Ss: Welcome! Welcome! (握手、拍肩 和他打招呼，但是他搖搖頭) M: He doesn't know French at all.
Ss: What a pity!
A: I hear Napolan will be here in a month.
M: What shall we do?
B. I hear N often asks three quenstions. and often in an order. The first
one is
the Amry?
M: All of us have no problem except Sam. He doesn't know French.
What
shall we do?
B. I have an idea. From now on all of us teach him the three questions at
any time.
Ss: Good!
各種場合：
睡覺: A: Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
A: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
A: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
吃飯:B:Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
B: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
B: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
跑步：C:Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
C: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
C: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
.....
Ss: We believe that's no problem at all.
N is coming. N is coming.
(眾士兵立正)
N: Hello! Everyone. How are you?
Ss: Fine. Thank you!sir!
Sam 在哆嗦，引起了拿破侖的註意。
N: （走到他的面前）Well. How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 21 . sir.
N: (非常吃驚的) How old are you?
Sam: (非常自信的) 3 .sir.
N: (生氣的) Either you or I am mad!!!!
Sam:(洋洋得意的)Both. sir!!!
Ss: My god!!!