What is the secret ingrdient of tough people that enables them to suceed? Why do they survive the tough times when others are overcome by them? Why do they win when others lose? Why do they soar when others sink?
The answer is very simple. It's alll in how they perceive their problems. Yes, very living person has problems. A problem-free life is an illusion- a mirage in the desert. Accept that fact.
Every mountain has a peak. Every valley has its low point. Life has its ups and downs, its peaks and its valleys. No one is up all the time, nor are that down all the time. Problems do end. They are all resolved in time.
you may not be able to control the times, but you can compose your response. You can turn you pain into profanity-or into peotry. The choice is up to you. You may not have shosen your tough time, but you can choose how you react to it. For instant, what is the positive reaction to a terrible finacial setback? In this situation would it be the positive resaction to cop out and run away? Escape through alcohol, drug, or suiside? No! Such negetive reactions only produce greater problems by promising a temporary 'solution' to the pressing problem. The positive solution to a problem may require courage to initiate it. When you control your reaction to the seemingly uncontrollable problem of life, then in fact you do control the problem's effect on you Your reaction to the problem is the last word! That's the botom line. What will you let this problem do to you? It can make you tender or tough. It can make you better or bitter. It all depends on you.
In the final analysis, the tough people who survive the tough times do so because thet've chosen to react positive;y to their predicament. Tough times never last , but tough people do. Tough people stick it out. History teaches us that every problem has a lifespan. No problem is permanent. Storms always give way to sun. Winter always thaws into springtime. Your storm will pass. Your winter will thaw. Your problem will be solved
2\學會生活在現實中
Learn to live in the present moment
To a large degree,the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live on the present moment. Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are---always!
我們內心是否平和在很大程度上是由我們是否能生活在現實之中所決定的．不管昨天或去年發生了什麽，不管明天可能發生或不發生什麽，現實才是妳時時刻刻所在之處．
Without question, many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives worrying about variety of things--all at once. We allow past problems and future concerns dominate your present moments, so much so that we end up anxious,frustrated,depressed,and hopeless. On the flip side, we also postpone our gratification, our stated priorities, and our happiness, often convincing that "someday" will be much better than today. Unfortunately, the same mental dynamics that tell us to look toward the future will only repeat themselves so that 'someday' never actually arrives. Jhon Lennone once said, "Life is what is happening while we are busy making other plans." When we are busy making 'other plans', our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.
毫無疑問，我們很多人掌握了壹種神經兮兮的藝術，即把生活中的大部分時間花在為種種事情擔心憂慮上－－而且常常是同時憂慮許多事情．我們聽憑過去的麻煩和未來的擔心控制我們此時此刻的生活，以至我們整日焦慮不安，委靡不振，甚至沮喪絕望．而另壹方面我們又推遲我們的滿足感，推遲我們應優先考慮的事情，推遲我們的幸福感，常常說服自己”有朝壹日”會比今天更好．不幸的是，如此告戒我們朝前看的大腦動力只能重復來重復去，以至”有朝壹日”喲貧農公元不會真的來臨．約翰．列儂曾經說過：”生活就是當我們忙於制定別的計劃時發生的事．”當我們忙於指定種種”別的計劃”時，我們的孩子在忙於長大，我們摯愛的人裏去了甚至快去世了，我們的體型變樣了，而我們的夢想也在消然溜走了．壹句話，我們錯過了生活．
Many people lives as if life is a dress rehearsal for some later date. It isn't. In fact, no one have a guarantee that he or she will be here tomorrow. Now is the only time we have, and the only time that we have any control over. When we put our attention on the present moment, we push fear from our minds. Fear is the concern over events that might happen in the future--we won't have enoughh money,our children will get into trouble,we will get old and die,whatever.
許多人的生活好象是某個未來日子的彩排．並非如此．事實上，沒人能保證他或她肯定還活著．現在是我們所擁有的唯壹時間，現在也是我們能控制的唯壹的時間．當我們將註意力放在此時此刻時，我們就將恐懼置於腦後．恐懼就是我們擔憂某些事情會在未來發生－－我們不諱有足夠的錢，我們的孩子會惹上麻煩，我們會變老，會死去，諸如此類．
To combat fear, the best stradegy is to learn to bring your attention back to the present. Mark Twain said,"I have been through some terrible things in life, some of which actually happened." I don't think I can say it any better. Practice keeping your attention on the here and now. Your effort will pay great dividends.
若要克服恐懼心理，最佳策略是學會將妳的註意力拉回此時此刻．馬克．吐溫說過：”我經歷過生活中壹些可怕的事情，有些的確發生過．”我想我說不出比這更具內涵的話．經常將註意力集中於此情此景，此時此刻，妳的努力終會有豐厚的報償．
3\How High Can You Jump?
Flea trainers have observed a strange habit of fleas while training them. Fleas are trained by putting them in a cardboard box with a top on it. The fleas will jump up and hit the top of the cardboard box over and over and over again.
As you watch them jump and hit the lid, something very interesting becomes obvious. The fleas continue to jump, but they are no longer jumping high enough to hit the top.
When you take off the lid, the fleas continue to jump, but they will not jump out of the box. They won't jump out because they can't jump out. Why? The reason is simple. They have conditioned themselves to jump just so high.
Once they have conditioned themselves to jump just so high, that's all they can do!
Many times, people do the same thing. They restrict themselves and never reach their potential. Just like the fleas, they fail to jump higher, thinking they are doing all they can do.
跳蚤訓練人在訓練跳蚤時發現跳蚤有壹個奇怪的習慣。若把跳蚤放在壹個有頂蓋的盒子裏，他們會不斷地跳起來，撞擊頂蓋。
妳觀察他們跳起來撞擊頂蓋，會慢慢發現壹個有趣的現象。他們仍會跳起來，但不會再撞到頂蓋。
當妳把頂蓋拿開時，跳蚤還會接著跳，但卻不會跳出盒子。為什麽呢？原因很簡單。它們已經習慣了只跳那麽高。
壹旦它們習慣只跳這麽高之後，它們就只能跳這麽高了。
很多時候，人們也是壹樣。他們自己限制了自己，從來不去發掘自己的潛力。就像跳蚤壹樣，沒能跳得更高，還以為已經到了自己能力的極限。
4\熱愛生活 （Love Your Life ）
Henry David Thoreau/享利.大衛.梭羅
However mean your life is,meet it and live it ;do not shun it and call it hard names.It is not so bad as you are.It looks poorest when you are richest.The fault-finder will find faults in paradise.Love your life,poor as it is.You may perhaps have some pleasant,thrilling,glorious hourss,even in a poor-house.The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich man's abode;the snow melts before its door as early in the spring.I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there,and have as cheering thoughts,as in a palace.The town's poor seem to me often to live the most independent lives of any.May be they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving.Most think that they are above being supported by the town;but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means.which should be more disreputable.Cultivate poverty like a garden herb,like sage.Do not trouble yourself much to get new things,whether clothes or friends,Turn the old,return to them.Things do not change;we change.Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
不論妳的生活如何卑賤，妳要面對它生活，不要躲避它，更別用惡言咒罵它。它不像妳那樣壞。妳最富有的時候，倒是看似最窮。愛找缺點的人就是到天堂裏也能找到缺點。妳要愛妳的生活，盡管它貧窮。甚至在壹個濟貧院裏，妳也還有愉快、高興、光榮的時候。夕陽反射在濟貧院的窗上，像身在富戶人家窗上壹樣光亮；在那門前，積雪同在早春融化。我只看到，壹個從容的人，在哪裏也像在皇宮中壹樣，生活得心滿意足而富有愉快的思想。城鎮中的窮人，我看，倒往往是過著最獨立不羈的生活。也許因為他們很偉大，所以受之無愧。大多數人以為他們是超然的，不靠城鎮來支援他們；可是事實上他們是往往利用了不正當的手段來對付生活，他們是毫不超脫的，毋寧是不體面的。視貧窮如園中之花而像聖人壹樣耕植它吧！不要找新的花樣，無論是新的朋友或新的衣服，來麻煩妳自己。找舊的，回到那裏去。萬物不變，是我們在變。妳的衣服可以賣掉，但要保留妳的思想。
5\父愛和母愛
Motherly and Fatherly Love
Motherly love by its very nature is unconditional. Mother loves the newborn infant because it is her child, not because the child has fulfilled any specific condition, or lived up to any specific expectation. Unconditional love corresponds in one of 'the deepest longings, not only of the child, but of every human being; on the other hand, to be loved because of one's merit, because one deserves it, always leaves doubt: maybe I did not please the person whom I want to love me, maybe this or that--there is always a fear that love could disappear. Furthermore, "deserved" love easily leaves a bitter feeling that one is not loved for oneself, that one is loved only because one pleases, that one is, in the last analysis, not loved at all but used. No wonder that we all cling to the longing for motherly love, as children and also as adults. The relationship to father is quite different. Mother is the home we come from, she is nature, soil, the ocean; father does not represent any such natural home. He has little connection with the child in the first years of his life, and his importance for the child in this early period cannot be compared with that of mother. But while father does not represent the natural world, he represents the other pole of human existence; the world of thought, of man-made things, of law and order, of discipline, of travel and adventure. Father is the one who teaches the child, who shows him the road into the world. Fatherly love is conditional love. Its principle is "1 love you because you fulfill my expectations, because you do your duty, because you are like me." In conditional fatherly love we find, as with unconditional motherly love, a negative and a positive aspect. The negative aspect is the very fact that fatherly love has to be deserved, that it can be lost if one does not do what is expected.
The positive side is equally important. Since his love is conditional, I can do something to acquire it, I can work for it; his love is not outside of my control as motherly love is.
母愛和父愛
母愛的天性是無條件的。母親愛她的新生嬰兒，因為那是她的孩子，而不是因為這個小孩符合了什麽特別的條件，也不是因為孩子達到了她的某種特別的期望。無條件的愛符合——不只是小孩子，而且是每個人最深切的渴望。另壹方面，如果因為自己的優點，因為自己值得愛而被別人愛，我們總會心存疑慮：可能我沒有使那個我希望他(她)愛我的人滿意吧?可能這個，可能那個——總是害怕那份愛會消失。而且“值得的”愛很容易令人產生壹種辛酸的感覺：似乎壹個人不是因為自身而被愛，而是因為自己可以令別人高興，令別人滿足才被愛，似乎自己根本不是被愛而是被利用了。無怪乎我們全都依戀、渴望著母愛，不論小孩還是成年人都如此。
孩子同父親的關系就完全不同了。母親是我們的發源地，她是自然、是土壤、是海洋；父親不代表任何這些自然的歸宿。在孩子初生的前幾年中，父親和孩子接觸很少。在此期間，對於孩子來說，父親的重要性遠遠比不上母親。但是，雖然父親不代表這自然的世界，他卻代表了人類存在的另壹極——思想的世界、人造的世界、法律和秩序的世界、紀律的世界、旅行和冒險的世界。教育孩子的人是父親，向孩子展示通向世界之路的人也是父親。父愛是有條件的。它的原則是：“因為妳達到了我的期望，因為妳完成了妳的職責，因為妳像我，所以我愛妳。”在有條件的父愛中，我們(像在無條件的母愛中壹樣)發現它既有消極的壹面，又有積極的壹面。消極的壹面是父愛的給予只在妳值得得到愛的條件下，而且如果妳沒有做到他所期望的事，妳可能會失去這份愛。積極的壹面也同樣重要。既然他的愛是有條件的，我可以采取壹些辦法去獲取它，我可以為之而努力；他的愛像母愛壹樣，並沒有越出我的控制力