是典型的中國式英語，是錯誤的，語法也不對，excited 是形容詞，怎麽能修飾動詞say呢。不過，樓主應該感謝這些網友，因為他們回答問題很積極熱情，真的。
翻譯如下，準確度有保證
1.她越說越激動
The longer she talked ，the more excited she got. (got也可用was代替)
2.大學壹畢業，他就開始找工作
He began to look for a job when he graduated .
3.贏得全校師生尊敬的最佳途徑就是努力學習、得高分
The best way to win respect from all the studets and teachers of the school
is to work hard and got a high score .
4.很難記住每個人的長相和名字
It is difficult to remember everyone’s looks and names
5.妳們應當特別註意保持健康
You should pay special attention to keeping healthy .
（to 是介詞，keep 要改成keeping ）
6.在暑假裏他大部分時間都用來上網
He spent most of his time surfing the Internet during the summer holiday.
7.和他多談幾次妳會發現他不像妳想想得那麽壞
You will find him not to be so bad as you think when when you talk with him for more times .
8.我很遺憾地通知妳我校的圖書館下星期將停止開放
I am sorry to tell you that the library of our school will stop opening next week .
9.David是我見過的最熱心助人的學生之壹
David is the most warm-hearted student I have seen .
10.盡管這工作很有挑戰性，可我喜歡
Though the work\job is very challenging ，I like it .
有什麽不理解的地方，可以再問我。